sometimes to do the things you love, you leave the ones you love behind
It is depressing that I have been gone for less than a month and I have lost the people that just a few weeks ago I cared so much about. I have been forgotten in a world were I thought I was irreplaceable. At the same time when I dwell on the things that start to piss me off I realize they are repeated actions and that I should just give up! I am 2000 miles away from the life I left behind and if the people I thought I cared for do not chose to return the favor, why do I waste my time?
I think I am going insane! Recently I have been in an indecisive mood. Maybe because I rarely leave my house so it is hard to meet people and I dont really have a friend to do stupid random stuff with. I have been thinking about dating again, but, I don’t trust men so how can I go about that? I cant even commit to a movie, let alone a male! At the same time I get into these ruts where I want to feel butterflies in my stomach and I want to be held. (I want to eat out at restaurants and go to movies as well!) Maybe I will start looking for someone and I wont find it so I will not have to worry about it.
This feeling is prob. because everyone that I know out here has a significant other and I am the only single female in the group of friends. I dont want to go and find the first person I meet but I am sick of feeling like I stand out for that reason. I know I just moved here but does anyone else find it strange that I haven’t gotten serious with a boy in over a year? BLEHHH I am crazy…maybe I should just get committed (to a psyc ward!).
July 15, 2008 at 8:26 pm
I definitely don’t find it strange that you haven’t gotten serious with a boy in over a year. I do share your frustration and anxiety about not having someone to feel butterflies in my stomach over, or someone special to hold me. Try not to stress it too much. It sounds like you’re still adjusting to your new environment. So relax, give yourself a bit more time and get out there. Good luck!
July 16, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Thanks so much! I guess my emotions are just run amuck recently and I need to straighten them out…thank goodness for Hot Yoga!!
July 16, 2008 at 8:25 pm
I kinda know what you mean by the hermitting tendency. You mentioned the word “indecisive” and that might be a bit of a clue. I only stumbled on this page, so I cannot claim to know much (or anything!) about you. But my guess is that you’re a pretty bright cookie, with a solid scanner / wanderer / fantasy / sensitive streak who’s not a whole lot like other people, thank God. Were you a gifted child? I have no idea why, but I’d be really interested in knowing more about you! I happen to be a man, also without a significant other, and of a mindset not unlike the one you expressed, and I’d be happy to exchange some funny emails or something. I live a very great distance away, so it’s not like we can go try on cheezy outfits at wal-mart, or peek at each other through the shelves of the local bookstore anytime soon. But it would be cool to hear from you! -Rick
April 15, 2009 at 7:46 am
Not that I’m impressed a lot, but this is a lot more than I expected for when I stumpled upon a link on Furl telling that the info is awesome. Thanks.
April 22, 2009 at 3:01 am
I can tell that this is not the first time you write about the topic. Why have you chosen it again?