Christian Dior Pikachu Lopez 2005-2008

This morning Lopez my beloved chinchilla passed away.

For those who never met Lopez he was a wonderful creature who did nothing but love everyone in the world. He was my second half and friend. He has accomplished more things in his little world than some people do in thier lifetime. Lopez has seen over 8 states and wrestled dogs and cats alike. Lopez will be truely missed.

Christian Dior Pikachu Lopez

I have never felt more alone in California till this moment where I have no one here to help me.

Fake it till you make it

I spent the weekend VIP-ing and hiking….TO THE HOLLYWOOD SIGN!!!! I love this town and my friends out here!

Just a tiny photo recap of the hike!

Bomb! The Music Industry

You got a new medicine
100 movie channels on television.
We can use it as evidence
of why I don’t have any more friends.

I got a big comfortable couch
that seems a lot bigger when it seats just one.
I got a new video game
and playing on your own is almost fun.

1,000 square feet for the one and only.
Who cares about size when it’s big and lonely?
Cutting my teeth on the biggest parties.
Who cares about life when it’s big and lonely?

I am flawed if I am not free….

Well it has been a while.  I prob. lost all of my readers because of my internet suicide, and I appologize.  I have been working my butt off at the new job, which I love!!!  The people are amazing, the atmosphere is awesome and the job is just pure bliss.  I learn something new everyday and it is awesome!  I have learned that I am a nerd!  HA!  Who knew?!  But it is still cool.  I still dig it because again with my new job I defy steriotypes and show the world that I am capable of doing anything!

I moved into my own place and it is wonderful.  I live in a large studio in Tarzana with Lopez, my chinchilla, and will soon be graced by Bagheera’s presence.  It makes me feel more at home in my own spot since it is what I am used to.  The Condo is located in an elderly community where the only other residents that are my age are two metal guys who I befrended with a speach on how I do not consume meat.  I frequent the pool at the complex and meet the old ladies and gents who love my young wit!  Its hilarious!  But it makes me remember that I am in a safe neighborhood.

I am off to a party at the moment so I will update later.  But all is swell and I am still alive! <3<3<3

“Insert emo lyrics here”

Wow,  sorry it has been a long time I just have been super busy with life. 

 

I got the job I interviewed for and will be starting on the 11th!!!!   I can not wait to start this job because it will be my first time working for a corporate company, yet will have the small business feeling with the younger employees!  It is in the IT department and is helping out with contracts and social aspects of the dpeartment.  Something I am very good at!  I am stoked!!!  This beats the last job were i was busting my ass for no recognition and no money!  (which when I have time i will explain how he still owes me a thousand dollars and refuses to pay!)  But I cannot dwell on the negatives because I am making more money than I have ever made in my life!!  I am working for a company that can offer me more opportunities than I can dream of and with a staff that rocks my socks!!!  Life is going swell!

From our ancestors come our names, but from our virtues our honors.

Living out here I have discovered one thing about the mind of people.  People with no direction will drop names like there is no tomorrow!  I have realized this hanging out with people who are both successful and not so much.  I am sick of people coasting on the names of organizations and people that they know to make it or sound cooler than they are.  When in all actuality they are no different than you or me.

A job is just that…A JOB!  It doesn’t matter who you work for or who works for you, you are still that kid in high school who never had friends and desperately seeked approval from the “cooler” classmates.  It sickens me when people judge others by their names or when those people judge others by lack of fame!

I have dated people who are nobodies who work for some of the biggest companies in the world.  At the same time I have befriended people that have the fame in the palm of their hands and they just toss it to the side.  I have experienced both name droppers and humble people and I know I have been both at times.  I just don’t understand how someone can talk down to another person just because they aren’t at the same level.

On another note, I am officially jobless!  EEK!  I am freaking out!  Has Califonia already chewed me up and spit me out?!  Am I that easily defeated!?  How can someone with 3 years of experience not obtain a job?!

I need my yoga class like woah!

sometimes to do the things you love, you leave the ones you love behind

It is depressing that I have been gone for less than a month and I have lost the people that just a few weeks ago I cared so much about. I have been forgotten in a world were I thought I was irreplaceable. At the same time when I dwell on the things that start to piss me off I realize they are repeated actions and that I should just give up! I am 2000 miles away from the life I left behind and if the people I thought I cared for do not chose to return the favor, why do I waste my time?

I think I am going insane! Recently I have been in an indecisive mood. Maybe because I rarely leave my house so it is hard to meet people and I dont really have a friend to do stupid random stuff with. I have been thinking about dating again, but, I don’t trust men so how can I go about that? I cant even commit to a movie, let alone a male! At the same time I get into these ruts where I want to feel butterflies in my stomach and I want to be held. (I want to eat out at restaurants and go to movies as well!) Maybe I will start looking for someone and I wont find it so I will not have to worry about it.

This feeling is prob. because everyone that I know out here has a significant other and I am the only single female in the group of friends. I dont want to go and find the first person I meet but I am sick of feeling like I stand out for that reason. I know I just moved here but does anyone else find it strange that I haven’t gotten serious with a boy in over a year? BLEHHH I am crazy…maybe I should just get committed (to a psyc ward!).

WOW….Just WOW!

Last night I got to have my first “HOLLYWOOD” Club experience.  My roommate and I were placed on the VIP list of the Club off Hollywood Blvd called Opera and we got the treatment!  We stroll up (Awesomely dressed might I add…Whoever said that LA was ahead of trends compared to Miami lied!) and got to skip the giant line in the front while all the tourists and normies (ok that was vain and I apologize) watched us.  I would like to blame my smoking good looks on this event, but outside of my blog it was because of my roommates name and cliental. When we arrived in the club the first room of bottle service was outside inclosed in an alley.  Creating the illusion that you were actually inside.  My first thought was, “Well thats cool except when it rains!” I later remembered that I live in California now and it never does.  The inside was small and the crowd wasn’t my type of crowd but there weren’t as many creepy dudes as there are in Florida.  Most of the people that were there were very nice and considerate of me, which is nicer than some dude grinding his crotch on me while i just try to find some friends!  This is prob because I was standing next to a boy and no other females, but I would like to think it was because of the Cali mentality!  We left shortly into the night but it was a blast finally experiencing these clubs and not having to worry about lines, creeps, and bad music!

 

This morning was my first interview with RedBull.  IT WENT AMAZZZZING!!  The position is for the IT department’s assistant and I think I would fit in great!  I have been working with IT guys for several years and I love those guys!  I have my second interview in a few more days to see if I get the job!!!!  

 

I also have not one but TWO other interviews!!  One at a clothing line that is very well known in the industry for the owners PA which would be an Idealistic job for myself since I love doing PA stuff and I need someone young who has a great business sense.  The other is at prob the most well known Metal record label in the world!!   THAT WOULD BE EQUALLY AS AWESOME!!  These interviews I have lined up all three sound like amazing opportunities that I would have never gotten in Florida!  I am stoked to experience just the fact that these doors have opened for me!

What a weekend!

With America’s Birthday season wrapping up I would like to say that I feel so much more at home here that I ever thought I would!   This weekend my roommates and I threw a bbq/party at our place in Reseda for the 4th.  With a wonderful turnout of some awesome kids I have realized that even spending two weeks here I already have some awesome friends!  

 

We later did the most american thing we knew how to and hit the waves the following day where we were extremely defeated by the ocean and caused a frightening experience for my friends and I.  Although surfing is a wonderful sport and form of exercise it is also a dangerous activity and one must not try something they cannot handle.

 

I have been very unhappy with my employment situation. It is just not what I was looking for and I have been searching unsuccessfully for a new job where the company is more up and running.  Maybe something corporate?  Or just something with a payroll.  I cant work for a company that pays under the table!  I guess I just thought it would be like my Orlando job and I have realized that it will never be like that job again.  

 

It is official!  I have streached my lease here till Aug 15th so I dont have to pay 2 peoples rent in a 2br apt!!!!!  I love living here!  I am going to miss it when I move out!  (but hopefully not that far away!

 

I really have nothing more to say I just needed to update since all my friends who read get mad when I don’t!  I will try to update more often.

 

De Capo is still under research but It is comming slowly.  I have more contacts in the music industry to help me out and I feel like this will be a great cause!!

De Capo

All of my life I have suffered from an addictive personality, which has caused me to be attracted to addicts alike.  I have suffered with the best of them and lost some wonderful friends in the journey.  I loved an addict and was emotionally destroyed in the process.  Addiction has harmed my family, friends, and me.  I always wanted to help but I could never think of a way.

Tonight I was chatting with some designers from Emptees (A great online Community) and my potential to do something came up in conversation.  I was dumbfounded that so many people believed I can do so much good in the world that I needed to get my act together and start giving back.  I have so many connections in the music industry that I have been greedy to not give back, or at least try!

So I have decided to start a new charity called (this is a first run name and we are obviously still tweaking the situation) De Capo.  Which means in music to replay from the begining.  Giving teenagers with addiction problems the chance to restart their lives.  Rehab can cost thousands of dollars.  Something that some families don’t have.  We should be so lucky to get the chance to create something that will help these kids gain a second chance.  If I actually make enough maybe I can start a scholarship for these children giving them any and all opertunities to achieve thier hopes and dreams!

De Capo can hopefully become a charity that does good and doesnt just become all about selling shirts and putting on shows.  Hopefully together Me and the Music Industry can create a better world.